Stressed-Out Kids and What to Do for Them

Brush up active listening skills to help

Mar 04, 2010
bubble 4 comments
Submitted by: Paula Schwed

Kids are feeling much more stress than their parents suspect, according to a report by the American Psychological Association that's highlighted in the new SEL Exchange newsletter from CASEL, the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning.

For example, 44 percent of children report sleeping difficulties, yet only 13 percent of parents think their kids have trouble sleeping. One-fifth of children say they worry a great deal or a lot, but only 3 percent of parents rate their children's stress as extreme.

The article has some useful tips on how to identify stressed out kids, and how to help them. Especially worth repeating are their reminders that practicing active listening helps enormously: 

When your children are talking about concerns, stop whatever you are doing and listen. 

Express interest in whatever they are saying without being intrusive. 

Listen to their point of view, even if it's difficult to hear. 

Let them complete their point before you respond. 

Repeat what you heard them say to ensure that you understand them correctly. 

Realize that your children may test you by telling you a small part of what is bothering them. Listen carefully to what they say, encourage them to talk, and they may share the rest of the story.

 Learn more about teaching social skills to children

What's stress?

On April 27th, 2010 cristy mccrery says:
I don't think a lot of kids know what stress is, that is why it is important for them to learn social and emotional learning skills. I believe it is hard for them to identify that emotion, stress, and more importantly, if and when they know what it is, I think they don't think they should be feeling stressed, or that stress is a bad thing. One child expressed how she was upset that the dinner she cooked for her brothers and sisters a few days ago turned out bad. I pointed out that she must feel stressed about cooking again if she's still thinking about how dinner didn't turn out so well a few days ago. And she is not aware of it, but she is going through stress if she goes to an after school program and then has to go home to cook dinner for her siblings. Social and emotional intelligence is important, not only to understand all these skills and emotions, but it is also important that children know it is okay to feel those emotions.

It's a parents problem if

On April 22nd, 2010 marowe bass says:

It's a parents problem if kids are more stressful than them. Signs of fatigue and school boredom.Moms needs to handle the situation. Need a little advice from someone other than your friends and family? Here is a new website that you are able to ask questions, or vent frustrations to. TruuConfessions is an anonymous web site where you log in and post precisely what you would like.

Less Stress

On April 8th, 2010 Nicole Lovecchio says:

Sometimes adults are so wrapped up in their own stressful worlds that the emotions of kids get ignored.  Kids have a hard time identifying negative emotions especially stress and frustration.  At WINGS we try to help kids delevop a better understanding of stress and it's causes so they are better able to manage this emotion when faced with it.  Focusing on helping a child understand what stresses them out and how to best deal with it is super important.  If these emotions are ignored, kids can fall deeper and deeper into their negative emotions and often act as a result.  Taking a few minutes to talk to child regarding what might be stressing them out can really add many happier minutes to his or her day!

SEL skill building

On March 26th, 2010 Bridget Laird says:

It is also important to give kids way to deal with stress on a day to day basis. At WINGS we use the acronym, STRESS to give kids some appropriate ways to deal with stress so the can stress less:

o Stand back, remove yourself
o Talk to someone
o Read
o Exercise
o Sing/listen to music
o Slow down and breath