The Story of Karl White

by Nicole Lovecchio, Program Director, WINGS at Chicora

“Varnita to Nicole!” “Varnita to Nicole!” This was how everyday at WINGS started for me; a frantic call from Varnita, a group leader, requesting help in her classroom. I was serving as Director of Behavior Management and rushed to the room to find Karl, a second grader, standing behind his desk laughing loudly and disrupting everyone. As always, I asked him to come with me, and we spent the next 30 minutes discussing his outburst. He seemed to understand his behavior was wrong and unacceptable, but it was unclear to me whether or not he “got it”.

My first year at Memminger passed, and I realized that Karl did not “get it”—his outbursts continued. When told to be quiet, he talked; when told to be still, he jumped and spun around; when asked to do anything, Karl did the opposite and laughed in the process. He enjoyed the negative attention and tried to push it as far as possible, especially with me.

Two years passed, and Karl was still the same: loud, disruptive, and unwilling to follow directions. Everything was funny to him and, when confronted about his behavior, he acted as if he didn’t even care. I, on the other hand, was not the same. My role at WINGS shifted from Director of Behavior Management to Program Director. I ran the program, and therefore, was ultimately responsible for everyone in the program. Unfortunately, everyone at WINGS was fed up with Karl—except for Karl himself.

Each day, at least one staff member came to my office and complained about something Karl did that afternoon—mostly harmless annoyances that drove the staff and kids crazy. He jumped on group members, threw random objects, and always had the last word. These were only a few of his bothersome habits. He was that one kid when told not to say a word, looked directly at you and said, “A word.” and then laughed. For two years, I dealt with these behaviors on a daily basis; I was tired of it and thought it was time for Karl to find another afterschool program.

I returned to WINGS after winter break and was greeted by the same irritating behaviors of Karl. I made up my mind: I was kicking him out! With that decision, I called his mom (with whom I spoke at least once weekly for the past two years). As soon as I said hello, she asked if I received my gift from Karl. I said, “No”, and began to tell her about his recent actions. Then she gave me some much needed insight into the Karl “outside of WINGS”.

She said the weekend before winter break Karl begged to buy a Christmas gift for me. He spent two days searching for the perfect gift and when he finally found it he was so excited to give it to me. Unfortunately for him, the day before break, he got into trouble at WINGS and his mother did not allow him to bring the gift. She said he was devastated. He cried and kept saying, “I have to give Ms. Nicole something so she’ll like me.” His mother told me that she did not understand why Karl acted the way he did at WINGS. She said he constantly talked about WINGS and how much he loved his group leader and Ms. Nicole. I was shocked, and I now knew Karl belonged at WINGS.

As I said goodbye to his mom, Karl walked into my office with a wrapped gift. I acted surprised as I opened my glass paperweight. I began to see him differently. No matter how much trouble he was in or how upset the group leaders were, he loved us all unconditionally. I—along with everyone else at the program—almost gave up on him; while during the past two years he hadn’t even thought of giving up on WINGS. Karl loved us no matter what, and he, at that moment, taught me to do the same.